The idea appealed to me, not only because I was more than capapble of swimming a mile, but also because it was outdoors. I fancied taking the challenge....so I entered...without a friend..lol It gave me the incentive to keep swimming, but little did I know what I was letting myself in for...!
Here is an account of that day....it's actually an email to a friend who replied saying he had tears in his eyes reading it..he was so impressed with my achievement...!
"It was a memorable experience.....and I did it in 57mins 11secs...the water was
warm, the wind was high and the whole thing was tough from start to
finish....but it was a very emotional and proud moment when I swam under
the gantry...only equalled when I phoned my Dad and told him I had done
it....it must have been the toughest physical challenge I have ever
done...it was frightening and lonely....but I was determined to
finish.... I just kept thinking of all those hours in the pool, all the
training, and I think that is what gave me the guts to complete it...I
did it and I feel incredibly proud.
It
didn't help that I arrived at the docks at 12:15pm sheduled to swim at
1pm. But I had parked a mile or more away. I walked as quickly as i
could in the scorching weather, carrying all my gear to get to the
start. I had left Caroline in the carpark getting the ticket. When I was
almost at the start, I noticed people walking down to the start area
wearing their wet suits. But I hadn't seen anywhere to get changed. I
stopped a couple and asked them where the changing area was and they
said it's by the finish line and it will take you 15 minutes to get
there....I had already passed it!! I told him I was due to swim at one
and his wife looked at her watch and said you won't make it, it's 25 to
now. I was gutted, out of breath from rushing and just started to walk
slowly back. then I saw Caroline and I said to her, if I can change
around here somewhere I will be able to make it. So I ended up
getting changed behind a van!! So I got to the start area and saw Kathy
the other swimmer from Southampton ~there were only two of us doing it ~
Had a couple of puffs of my inhaler as my chest was tight and that was
it....into the climatisation pool and off to the start.
For
the first 500 meters I was panicking, I was battered by the waves as
the wind was so strong, i had swallowed half the Thames and was on the
verge of raising my hand for assistance! I tried back stroke, but I was
veering way off track, but the 10 minutes or so swimming breastroke
diagonally to get back onto the course did help me get into a rythmn. It
was hard and I just kept thinking "what the fuck am I doing?" I wanted
to cry, because I wanted to give up. I felt helpless basically, like at
any moment I could drown, it wasn't like going for a run or for a walk
where you can stop, sit down and gather your thoughts and ask for help
if necessary. It was
just like you had to keep going because your life depended on it and
also the kayackers never felt like they were close by. In the end I
tried to focus on the canoes and imagined that they were 2/3 pool
lengths apart and in my head started counting the lengths as i do in the
pool. Each bouy became 10 lengths, although I don't know if they really
were!! I continued straight down the dock past the half way bouy and
thought it would now get easier, after all i was now on the final leg
home. the next bouy meant a turn to the left another 100meters across
the dock and then another left turn down to the finish. While I was
swimming across the dock after the first turn, I passed a couple of
swimmers in blue hats from a previous wave and that did encourage me.
Then came the turn to the final straight to the finish and i thought I
could see the finish, but it felt like miles away. I also thought the
wind would be with me so I would be pushed along with the
wind. This part must have been the most despairing. I swam and swam and
swam and didn't seem to be getting anywhere, The wind still felt the
same, and I wondered if I was swimming against a tide...I was phyically
worn out, I was just so tired. I turned over on my back and started
doing back stroke, the sun was beating down, but I did have specially
purchased for the occasion swimming goggles on...and I remember looking
up to the sky and seeing a plane overhead and I wondered where it was
going and if you were in it...although I knew you were probably well on
the way to the carribean or possibly already there! I just felt so
lonely, there were very few spectators along the side at this point, but
I could hear some shouts of encouragement and then I just turned over
and started swimming again and just thought oh well, you have to keep
going you can see the finish and I just kept thinking of all those long
hours in the pool, that it is a lonely sport, you
can't chat to people while you are swimming, and I just had to get on
with it...so I plodded on and on and then as I got closer to the finish
the people in the next wave the green hats, started passing me, they
were so fast!!!...and then finally I swam under the gantry and I just
thought I've done it....and I felt very emotional and proud, but there
was still another 20 feet or so to the exit area and thankfully there
were people there to help pull you out of the water, as my legs felt
like jelly!! I felt completely disorientated. Would I do it again next
year? As I was swimming the course, I thought no there is no way I would
ever do this again, but on reflection I think I would. I know what to
expect now...I know the fear and the lonliness and the sheer physical
exhaustion, so perhaps I could deal with them better on a subsequent
swim...don't know...but for the moment I feel really proud of my
achievement and I allowed myself a lie in with no swim
this morning!!"
Even reading it now makes me feel emotional...but it also shows me how far I have progressed...that was just one mile....just 1600m...I am now aiming for 10km. But each journey starts with a step and I have never forgotten the pride I felt and the emotion inside me, as I swam under the gantry and knew I had done it. Even my time didn't matter...what mattered was that I had finished.
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